A Christmas to Remember

As I alluded to in my previous post I had the rug pulled out from under me right before Christmas. We returned from our Christmas party at the shelter and I went to take a relaxing bath. I remember soaking in the tub basking in the glow of the families we had just spent time with and looking forward to the next few days and the wonderful magic of Christmas. Aaron walked into the bathroom and I happened to ask a question about work (not sure why!) and he basically in a nutshell stated that he had a conversation with his partner who told him that his salary was going to be 100% commission in 30 days. So basically, 48 hours before Christmas our world greatly changed! I have heard before that it is when faced with adversity that you see the true man emerge and this was definitely the case. I would love to talk about my husband's character and his steadfastness in caring for his family. Aaron constantly reassured me during this turmoil that the only thing that mattered was our family and that we were going to be ok. He would say over and over, who cares about our "lifestyle" and our "possessions"...these are earthly things that will be gone in an instant. We discussed the possibility of selling our house and putting the girls in public school. I hate to admit it but the idea of these things made me sick. I was happy and comfortable and never imagined this could happen. Usually when you own your own business you get through the ups and downs...we had done this for over a decade. But we were suddenly faced with a new reality. I immediately looked for a job. I hadn't worked in years and thought that I seriously might kill someone if I went back to nursing. But I didn't know what else to do and started sending out my resume. By the complete grace of God I was offered 2 positions very quickly. One that I knew I was clearly not qualified for (not sure what they were thinking) and another one that seemed a better fit. I debated for a few hours and decided to accept a job at Nurses for Newborns. It seemed to be more flexible and would allow me to be a mom of 4 children a little easier. Aaron was completely petrified of the job since my territory was North City and North County. The day that I sent a text to him from a crack house giving him the location of where I was in case I didn't come home was the straw that broke the camel's back. He decided right then and there that he would need to start looking for a job to hopefully get us out of this dreadful situation. The lowest time for me was Christmas Eve when I unwrapped gifts for the girls and returned them. As I walked into those stores with the holiday buzz and excitement of joyful people looking forward to the big day, I was incredibly tearful. I had shopped for months and had carefully selected each and every present I bought for the girls so the thought of returning them made me sick! People in the stores probably thought we had had a tragedy in our family when they looked at my red and swollen eyes. I will also never forget our Christmas Eve church service when I literally held my breath for fear that I would break down in front of everyone (which I eventually did!). I couldn't sing one single word to any of my most loved Christmas songs. And if you know me, you know I LOVE to sing in church. The lowest of the lows was when I looked over to Jordan who was sitting on my right and saw that she had tears pouring down her cheeks. We had reached rock bottom. Over the next several weeks the support of our family and friends was absolutely amazing. Our parents on both sides completely stepped up and rallied behind us. I am sure they were petrified at the thought of the 6 of us moving in with them! They were absolutely fantastic and gave us many pep talks as well as unconditional love. I would also like to mention those that were our "rocks" so that I never forget...Shannon, Chuck, Trey, Brian, Dondra, Kathie, Angie, Kim M, Kim C., Tim, Mandy, Lance, Heather, Phil, Chris, Chuck R., Shelley, and Chuck S....just to name a few! It is a shame to have to go through a trial to realize how incredibly loved you are but we all felt it! I will never forget those that prayed for us and know that I could never thank you enough. We now realize that those prayers completely took our pain and anger away. It was such a surreal moment when I realized that my sadness was gone but our situation was getting more and more bleak. Funny how God can take the pain away! So the last few months have been a roller coaster to say the least. I am still working at Nurses for Newborns and honestly LOVE my job. Aaron is getting used to the idea knowing that I am learning some much needed "street smarts". I don't get a panic attack anymore when I cross the bridge! The miracle beyond miracles was that Aaron found an incredible job while not even really looking for one. He is the VP of Sales at a company that did a little over 80 million dollars last year. He is transitioning well and LOVES his new job. I am getting used to a husband that travels and have recently found out that a mom and 4 daughters can fit in a bed with a dog at our feet! There are many things that I have learned during this trial in our life that I pray I never forget: 1. The only things in this world that we can truly control are our attitude and how we respond to life's ups and downs. 2. The love of our family and friends will always persevere no matter what! We have been immensely blessed by those that we call our family and friends. 3. Peace and happiness doesn't come from this world but only through the love of Christ. 4. Crying on Christmas sucks! I would not wish sadness on this amazing day on my worst enemy. When your children are opening presents Mom and Dad should be joyfully watching not taking turns breaking down in the other room. 5. Life is full of disappointments but God never disappoints. 6. My husband has the most amazing character of any human being I know. He is truly incredible and handles adversity like no other! 7. We "need" very little in this world. 8. I have a new understanding of what it truly means to trust God. Sometimes that means not getting what we want or what we think is fair but simply growing closer to Him is the only thing that matters. 9. Coupon clipping becomes an addictive game that takes up a ton of time. 10. God gives us wake up calls every now and then...be ready!